Although I can now say I've lost 55 lbs, I'm feeling frustrated. My focus isn't where it needs to be and I think my weight loss is reflecting that. Fortunately, I'm still losing, but it has slowed significantly the past few weeks.
It could be because my body is adjusting--to what, I'm not sure. Some call it a plateau. I'm not sure that's it.
It may be because even though I'm OP, I'm not 100% committed. I can do better with my water, activity and keeping a close eye on portions. I need to work harder, plain and simple.
There have been days lately where I would love to just sit and stuff my face. And, I haven't felt that way in a while. I'm trying to determine the cause of these feelings. I am glad, though, that I haven't given in to those temptations. I ain't going back to where I was--not ever.
So, something is telling me to figure out what's going on.
Since the girls have gone back to school and Jon's work continues to get more insane, I've been doing all I can to keep things running smoothly at home (i.e., keep it from getting to be a total dump). I'm getting in some "me time" by performing in a play--but that is work and does create some stress. I also have a lot of writing work going on.
Stress and I have a love/hate relationship, it seems. I work well under pressure; I'm getting lots done. However, my brain isn't on weight loss 24/7 like it has been.
In trying to stay away from the dreaded 'all or nothing' mentality, I know I need a balance. My weight loss isn't the only part of my life, but it is an important one that I don't want to lose sight of.
Perhaps the fact that I'm keeping it together in spite of everything going on is an indicator that I'm doing something right.
I said to a fellow WL poster that I'm tired of being fat and it's pissing me off now. It took me 10 years to do the damage to my body and my psyche: what should I expect from about 6 months of work?
I'm just not a patient person.
Still, if someone would have told me 6 months ago, when I finally made a commitment to get healthy, that I'd be 55 lbs lighter on September 28, I probably would have dropped to the floor and laughed my fat ass off.
How is it possible that 6 months seems like it's passed in the blink of an eye, but also still feels like forever.
I hope that as I continue to lose the pounds that I find some more patience.
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Marie, I understand your frustration and impatience. I have been experiencing those same emotions lately, and I don't have anywhere near the kind of stress (and busy times) going on at home that you have right now.
I am in awe of your ability to stay OP and keep "plugging along" with all of the stress you are dealing with right now... You are doing so great!
I just want you to know that I am so very proud of you for all you have accomplished so far on your journey, and I know that you will not waiver. Your determination waaaay outweighs your patience, my dear. (sorry about that pun! LOL) You are my inspiration, and I don't know what I would do without your support. I hope you feel the same support from me. I am here for you always, hon.
Oh, and if you find more patience along the way on this journey... Please feel free to pass some along to me! ;) LOL Lord knows I am not blessed with much patience these days...
Keep up the great work, Marie. I know how hard you are working, and that hard work is bound to pay off! :)
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