Numbers don't lie

How is it possible to be up 5 pounds in one day? Another miserable scale hop.

Been better with the food, but not great.

I'm out of control. I'm feeling buried, overwhelmed, etc. And, although I know it's nowhere near true...

I feel totally alone.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

The noise you just heard is the echoes of my fat ass falling off the wagon weeks ago. I have no excuse, although I came up with plenty:

• I was packing to move
• I was living in a hotel for a week or so
• I was unpacking and getting settled

Whatever.

The scale has launched upward. The grand irony in all of this is that for the first time in ages, I'm actually exercising more than I ever have! I joined the local Y here and am going 3x a week--doing cardio and strength traning. Yet, I continue to stuff my face. Why?

Because I'm an addict and even though I've been doing this for well over a year, it doesn't mean that I can't get careless with the food. I almost wish I could be like the alcoholic who has to stay away from the stuff all together.

But, that goes back to that all or nothing mentality again. Will I ever learn?

So, I'm going to back to the drawing board and seeing if I can fully extract from my head from my ass and my hand from my mouth.

And, one of the steps is to keep up with this blog again.

I'm back...I'm scared, but I can do this...